So I always knew the time would come where I would speak about conscious sacred relationships and share my personal journey around this.
Since coming together with my love Rory I feel it’s time.
What I’m experiencing with this beautiful human is what I’ve always dreamed of. It’s a love that has come out of the blue (and unexpected as we’ve known each other for a few years) yet is exactly what I’ve been calling in for many years.
The work I teach in Path of The Goddess revolves around clearing all that is in the way of you attracting love and living the life you’re destined for.
It’s a journey inward of clearing the deeper blocks and a journey of soul connection. And the intention is to do the inner work in order to manifest the life you desire.
The kind of relationship we attract with a man is a direct reflection of the relationship we have had with our Father. And that is a reflection of our relationship to our inner masculine self. It is something we’ve cultivated over lifetimes.
So I’ve always used my external life (reality) including my relationships, health, financial abundance and business success as a direct mirror to my unconscious beliefs and my relationship to myself, and my worthiness and ability to receive what I desired.
Before birthing this work my main challenges were around relationships. Not just romantic relationship but relationships in general.
I felt disconnected from people, and I was attracting relationships with men who treated me in really poor ways.
It brought up so much pain and unworthiness that I had not been conscious of until then.
I knew that I had inner work to do around the masculine if I was to attract the kind of man I desired and the big kind of love I knew was possible.
So I took responsibility for what was showing up in my life and went inward. I faced my pain, my unworthiness, I felt the immense grief in my heart at not having love in my life.
My focus was on loving me.
I then attracted a beautiful relationship with a man who I felt completely safe with. This allowed my inner child to surface and many layers of how she felt in relation to the masculine. She felt unsafe with men. Un trusting. Unworthy. And incapable of expressing her feminine side (her feelings, vulnerability and softness).
Through the love of this man and his willingness to hold space for these aspects within me (despite it being an immense challenge for him) I started to share my deepest feelings and vulnerabilities.
My walls came down and my heart opened. I felt safe to be me. I felt loved through my pain. We naturally had such a deep connection but in the end once my inner child healed, our connection changed. I wanted more from him than he could give. I wanted to be seen and treated as the woman I’d become.
I wanted to receive what I had so much to give; passion, intensity, adoration, devotion, deep connection, surrender and divine union.
We tried many times to make it work but the entire time despite my soul love for him I always felt unfulfilled and I just wasn’t going to settle.
I realised that in order for me to create a relationship that gave to me in the way I desired, i needed to give to myself in that way.
Once we parted ways I saw clearly how I’d given up so much of myself in that relationship in order to receive his love. I’d sacrificed things that were super important to my soul and was living in a way that was totally out of alignment to the real me.
And of course if I was out of alignment it was impossible for me to experience my love relationship in alignment.
So my focus shifted back to self love but this time much deeper. I took time daily to give to me. To be in Nature. To stop and be. I did hours of sacred feminine practices and I started to balance the inner masculine and feminine energies within myself.
I did this for 18 months but by 3 months was starting to feel whole for the first time in my life. I no longer craved love outside of myself and felt content in who I was and the life I was living.
The search stopped. And I was simply present to my inner world. I developed such a deep connection to my soul. My intuition increased. My new work was birthed. I moved into alignment with the real me.
I then spent a year teaching my new work to women and sharing everything I had learned.
I knew I was ready for my life partner but was detached as to how and when.
I was super clear on how I wanted to feel within my relationship rather than how he looked. I was open to how this love would show up but crystal clear on how I wanted to feel (as I’d spent enough time in relationships feeling unfulfilled).
About a month before I met Rory, I started feeling a strong desire to be supported by the masculine. I reached a place of complete surrender where I gave up holding it all together. I was done being the masculine and holding space for so many in my life (I love this space and do it naturally but was ready to be supported by the masculine). I felt grief around this and let it flow for a week.
Desires of having a baby started to rise within me. And after returning from Bali I started making plans in my business so that come next year I would have time for me to express more of my creativity and write my book as well as have time and space for my own family eventually. So I put plans into action and started to shift the direction of my business based on my soul desires within.
Then, out of the blue Rory came. He started doing some video work for me and I supported him in gaining further clarity around his own soul expression and purpose and from the beginning our connection was instant.
He was everything I’d been desiring but most importantly how he made me feel was everything I’d been calling in. I overlooked us at first because he is 7 years younger than me so we remained friends. But in the end our bodies were just so drawn together like magnets it was impossible to ignore.
We had a conversation about how we felt and it was on from there. We’ve spoken about everything in this short time but because our hearts are fully open we are both able to feel the truth of our connection and our relationship has moved fast.
The mutual adoration and love has been new for me so initially my heart had to stretch to receive the huge amount of love he was giving.
And he had his own patterns surface that we worked through.
We’ve been 100% transparent about everything from the start. Our conversations are vulnerable, honest and open.
I literally say what he is thinking on a daily basis. We are so connected. His higher self communicates to me via dreams and while in in meditation. Then he will say the same thing in reality soon after. There’s been so many synchronicities.
We literally want the same things. Have the same values. Express the same love languages and feel at home in each others arms. We are into so much of the same things and are bringing out in each other more of who we truly are.
We’ve had some tough conversations and I’ve needed to be clear on my boundaries as I’ve learned to stay in alignment and connected to my wholeness while in relationship now. And through my self honouring this resulted in him showing up for me even more. That’s been beautiful to witness.
Our future is clear yet there are things that need to align first.
My heart has never been happier. Experiencing this kind of love has been something I’ve spoken about for many years in terms of sacred union and now it’s here and the thing my soul wants to do more than anything is to write about what I’m experiencing in order to inspire you all into greater love.
To sum up the key to attracting love like this is to find this big love first within yourself and to jealous the masculine/feminine split within (which is what we do in my work at Path of The Goddess).
But if you’re single know that it’s absolutely possible to experience the love you desire and deserve and it’s the inner work that is first the key. As that will lead to aligned choices.
More sharing of this journey to come…